I’m starting to get it.. How to be a waiter

I’m starting to get it.. How to be a waiter. I’ve done it for what’s coming up on 9 years, it’s about time. Those of you who know me from my days at Q Haute know that I love making relationships/friendships. I spent a large portion of my time during dinner services not really doing much — mostly chatting with customers and relying on my colleagues to do all of the actual work.

These days I don’t really have the luxury of being so irresponsible. In a fast paced atmosphere like what I deal with in Carino, if I am caught talking to a table for more than a couple minutes, my queue of tasks racks up and I’ll be playing catch-up for the rest of the night. I’ve worked what seems like 16-17 shifts so far (reminder: I’m only there on the weekends) and I’m starting to understand what I need to do; who I need to become in order to get the same job satisfaction, and build those relationships that I am used to building.

1) Accept that not everyone wants to have an experience.
This was a bit hard for me to fathom. It really does seem that some people want to just eat seafood pasta and leave. It’s crazy because to me ‘the restaurant experience’ is the reason you’re not eating seafood pasta at home. It really does seem that people who are coming, are only coming because they don’t want to cook at home, or want to eat something they can’t cook at home.

I mean, fair enough. That’s why I go out to eat. The thing is that most restaurants don’t have the capacity or ‘framework’ to offer more than ‘food on a plate’. Maybe someone who doesn’t know what Amarone is and only orders it because it’s expensive doesn’t give a shit about the process. I do understand that ignorance is bliss, but if someone gives you the cure for ignorance and you choose to stay ignorant, what the fuck? Do you not want to grow as a person? Man oh man — so anyway, I’ve started to accept that these people exist, and that is rule #1.

2) Spend more time with the people you care about, and less with the people you don’t.
That sounds like common sense but in a setting where all customers should be equal, it’s a bit tricky to choose who is more important than the others, because to me a large percentage of why I want to spend time with a customer is non-monetary. They’re good people, they care about what they’re doing, they care about what I’m doing, and they’re in it for the experience. Thanks to the man who orders the bottle of amarone and doesn’t give a shit about what it is, I’ll make about $8 extra in the tip because of that bottle. Thank you very much, really, thank you to someone who will listen to how ashikubo sencha doesn’t get sunlight in the morning because of the foggy morning conditions in the mountains. The $8 I got from amarone guy is meaningless to me in the grand scheme of my night. If I could give you something that might stick with you as a memory in your long life, I’d take that $8 and throw it away to have that chance.

It’s really going back to rule #1, if someone is in the restaurant that isn’t willing to have an experience. I’ve deemed it best not to even try to give it to them. It’s hard for me to accept (because the potential is there to make something out of nothing) but I’m too busy running around to play the game of twisting arms. Now I’ll establish who’s there for an experience and give them everything. I’ll give prompt, attentive but impersonal service to everyone else, getting them out of the restaurant as fast as possible to free up my time to spend with the people who matter.

3) Organinze the schedule of tables to suit your needs.
I like to take an early rush and get my ass kicked at 5-6pm, being triple sat is no problem. Someone coming in at 5pm to eat probably isn’t looking to have their life changed. Give them the bing bang boom and have them out the door asap. They’re probably the type looking for a quick meal before the real part of their night begins anyway. Organize the end of the night to be slow, long and drawn out. The people coming to eat at 7:30pm, 8:00pm are likely there to spend some time, let them enjoy what they came for — after all that part is what I’m good at. The added benefit of getting your ass kicked early is that at the end of the night, things are usually pretty chill and you get to leave work in a great mood. Great enough to write a post like this.

Thank you Cliff and Patricia, Josh and (I’m so sorry ;-;), and my new Russian friends. If any of you read this, I had a great night.