The Jellyfish and the Monkey
Reimagined by Josh Linvers. 2024
It is said that at the bottom of every ocean lies a dragon king in his palace, but this story, my friends, concerns the king’s daughter – the mermaid princess. One regretful day, the mermaid princess developed a mysterious illness. The king summoned every doctor in the ocean to diagnose her, but unfortunately, nobody could figure out the problem.
No matter how far fetched the proposed treatments were, the king tried everything to save his daughter. Despite this, her condition worsened day by day until the doctors feared she was lying on her deathbed. One night, tossing and turning with sweat and high fever, the princess had a vivid dream. She was above the sea, eating a monkey’s liver as she happily rode on the back of her friend, the jellyfish.
Now it’s important to say that, back then, the jellyfish looked a little different than how we see it today. The jellyfish had a full skeleton, with boney limbs, and this allowed them to walk upright on land. They also wore a shell on their head, like a helmet, of a style very similar to what you’d see on a tortoise today. Lastly, for the sake of anthropomorphization, they always wore sunglasses, even when it was dark.
She told her father of her dream, and he commanded the jellyfish to be brought before him. Obeying his summons, the jellyfish had an audience with the king.
“Sup King”
The king let out a deep, controlled breath.
“Now jellyfish, you know I don’t like you, and I have no idea what my daughter sees in you, but she and I need your help. My daughter had a prophetic dream that she ate a surface monkey’s liver and recovered from her sickness, and since you’re one of the few of us down here that can walk on the land above water, I command you to find one of these monkey’s and bring it back here so that we can save my daughter’s life.
The jellyfish agreed to help, never understanding why the king was such a dick. As he was leaving the king said “Jellyfish, you have 24 hours. If you’re not back in time and my daughter should perish, I will hold you completely responsible.”
“Okay dude” said the jellyfish as he started to swim away from the palace.
The jellyfish surfaced near the islands of southern Japan. He quickly and conveniently found a monkey sitting in a tree. It stretched out its arms and legs and made its way up the beach to the base of the tree.
“Yo Monkey”
The monkey gazed down at the strange looking ocean creature.
“What do you want?”
“You tryna come underwater with me?”
“What? No? I’m fine thanks.”
“Frick…” pouted the jellyfish,
The jellyfish shuffled around, looking around at the scenery
“Uhhh, what’s good up here? It’s mad bright, and dry, it’s giving Ohio.”
The monkey looked down, perplexed at the jellyfish
“Is this how people talk underwater? Why would anyone go there?”
“Well, Let. Me. Tell. You. my guy, underwater is bussin. Temps comfy, the reefs are lit, thots gorgeous no cap, food slaps, what do you eat?”
“I like bananas”
“how big are your bananas?”
The monkey gestured a very normal banana size.
“That’s mad small fam, downstairs our bananas are 10x that”
The monkey climbed down from the tree
“Ok, take me to them”
“Hehehe light work”, the jellyfish said, quietly to himself.
The monkey looked the jellyfish with some concern “what did you say?”
“oh, nothing fam, hop on. Let’s dip”
So the monkey climbed onto the back of the jellyfish’s shell, and they surfed the waves until the island was out of sight, near to the point where they would dive down to the palace.
“Jellyfish, quick question”
“tell me”
“It seems like, when you came to my island, you made a B-line straight for me. Why is that? There’s a lot of other animals you could have invited.”
“well guy, no cap, I don’t really know all the deets but the king down there said the princess needs to eat a monkey liver or else she’ll die frfr, so they sent me up here to find one and stuff, so… with you I guess my work is done”
“Did you just say a monkey liver?”
“yeah, monkey liver.”
“Oh Man! You should have told me that sooner! I didn’t take any with me, I didn’t think I’d need them.”
“You… you don’t have a monkey liver right now?”
“That’s what I’m saying! You think we just carry those around with us? They’re all hanging in my tree”
“Frick! I thought for sure you had one in your guts. Let’s turn back and get them.”
Once they made their way back to the island, the monkey told the jellyfish to wait at the shore, and that he’d be right back. As the monkey ran off into the shrubs the jellyfish waited for his return, and waited, and waited. The sun started to set, and the jellyfish, realizing that he didn’t have much time left, began to wander the island in search of the monkey. Eventually he found him sleeping on a tall branch:
“Monkey bro! We really gotta get going! I’m gonna be late!”
Startled by the jellyfish’s presence the monkey replied:
“Sorry sorry! A bunch of stuff came up! I’d really like to come with you, but really, the timing just isn’t good!”
After some quick thinking, the monkey hopped down from the tree and rummaged thorough the shrubs at its base, he handed the jellyfish ‘a monkey liver’.
“Take this back to your king and give him my warmest regards.”
“Bruh, look at this thing! It’s like wearing a little red hat, the white spots is crazy. Well, its been a slice my guy, maybe another time. Lata!”
With his mission nearly complete, the jellyfish made his way back to the palace alone. He once again entered the vast throne room to meet with the dragon king. The giant metal doors clanged shut behind him.
“You’re alone?! The king’s voice boomed throughout the empty hall.
“My fish said they saw you with a monkey! Where is the monkey, Jellyfish!?”
“Yeah so, he like, well I had him with me for a bit, but then he forgot his liver back at home, so I took him back home to get it, then he said he was too busy, yada yada, anyway I got his liver here.”
The jellyfish moonwalked up to the dragon king and handed him the spotted mushroom. The dragon king gazed at it, then looked back disapprovingly towards the jellyfish. After a very disappointed sigh, the dragon king explained the situation, the symbolism of the very poisonous mushroom, and what would happen next.
With a lighthearted and comical hiccup, the princess, very predictably departed from the world.
The jellyfish was brought into the abyssal torture chamber. His shell was removed and locked away forever in the imperial armoury. The king instructed the strongest creatures of the sea to break every bone in his body, and when all the was left was a pile of barely conscious mush, the jellyfish was to be fed the poisonous mushroom and tossed out of the palace to die alone.
It is said that due to these events, the jellyfish of today aimlessly ride the ocean currents, they do not have shells nor bones but carry poison in their skin, and they are especially not fond of monkeys or dragon kings.
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